Thoughts vs. Feelings / Understanding the Difference and Why it Matters (#300)

In our fast-paced, emotionally charged world, the line between thoughts and feelings often becomes blurred. Slow down, Beavis! We say things like “I feel like nobody listens to me,” when what we really mean is, “I think nobody listens to me.” Ahhh, doesn’t this make so much sense?! Though subtle, the distinction between thoughts and feelings is important—both in how we understand ourselves and how we communicate with others. I really pride myself on being a good communicator,r and it all starts here.

What Are Thoughts?

Thoughts are the mental processes we use to interpret the world. They include beliefs, opinions, judgments, assumptions, and evaluations. Thoughts often take the form of internal dialogue—words we say to ourselves. That self-talk really gets out of hand, doesn’t it? For example:

• “I’m not good enough.”
• “They’re ignoring me on purpose.”
• “This will never work.”

Thoughts are often shaped by past experiences, cultural influences, and learned patterns. They can be helpful, but they can also be distorted. That’s why two people can experience the same event but have very different interpretations. One might see a missed call as a sign of rejection, while another might think it simply slipped the other person’s mind.

What Are Feelings?

Feelings, or emotions, are our internal emotional responses to experiences, thoughts, or physiological states. Common emotions include joy, sadness, anger, fear, guilt, and shame. Unlike thoughts, feelings aren’t judgments or interpretations—they’re raw and real reactions to what’s happening inside or outside us.

Feelings are often experienced physically: a tight chest when anxious, warmth when happy, or tears when sad. They arise without conscious effort and are not “right” or “wrong”—they just are. It’s what we feel in the moment.

The short version: Thoughts are mental processes like ideas and opinions, while feelings are emotional experiences like happiness or sadness. Mind/Heart

Why the Difference Matters

Confusing thoughts with feelings can lead to misunderstandings, poor decision-making, and strained relationships. When we label a thought as a feeling, we may avoid ownership of our beliefs and project them onto others. Makes you think, right?! For instance, saying “I feel like you don’t care” masks a judgment as an emotion. A more accurate statement might be, “I feel hurt because I believe you’re not considering my needs.” 

Recognizing the difference allows us to better manage our emotions, respond rather than react, and improve how we express ourselves. This self-awareness is also at the core of emotional intelligence. Additionally, this should manage the whole knee-jerk reaction. 

How to Tell the Difference

Ask yourself:

• Is this a judgment or an emotional state?
• Can this be true or false? (Thoughts can be, feelings can’t.)
• Is there a physical sensation tied to this? Do you feel it in your gut?

If the answer leads to analysis, it's probably a thought. If it points to something you're experiencing emotionally or physically, it's likely a feeling.

Conclusion

Thoughts and feelings are deeply interconnected. One thought can trigger a lot of emotions, and strong emotions can distort our thinking. The key is to bring awareness to both. Mindfulness, journaling, and therapy are powerful tools for disentangling the two. Walking is a good therapy for me personally.

By us clearly identifying our thoughts and feelings, we gain clarity, deepen our self-awareness, and improve how we relate to others. In a world where emotional intelligence is more valuable than ever, understanding this distinction is a crucial step toward personal growth. This is mission-critical!