Beyond Smiles: Understanding Real Happiness (#308)
We chase it in different ways. Some search for it in travel (I love traveling), others in careers, relationships, or even in the quiet moments between all the chaos. But if you pause for a second and really ask yourself—What does happiness mean to me?—the answer is usually deeper, softer, and more personal than we think.
It’s not just about being happy all the time. It’s not about constant excitement. And it’s definitely not about pretending everything’s fine when it isn’t. It’s to not be ok
For me, happiness is a feeling that often sneaks in quietly. It’s not loud or dramatic, even though I am loud and dramatic. True story. It’s the warmth of a morning sun on a walk. It’s a laugh that comes from the gut when you weren’t expecting it. It’s peace, contentment, and connection all rolled into a few simple moments.
Here are a few ways I’ve come to understand happiness—and maybe they’ll help you reflect on your own version of it too.
1. Happiness Is Presence
It’s that moment when you’re not thinking about yesterday or worrying about tomorrow. You’re just here, in the present moment. Maybe you’re walking your dog. Maybe you’re sitting in silence with someone you love.
Presence is where happiness grows. Not in the next achievement or the next purchase, but in the ability to be fully where you are.
2. Happiness Is Feeling Understood
There’s something beautiful about being truly seen—flaws, quirks, and all—and still being loved. When someone listens without trying to fix you, when they understand your silence or laugh at the same weird joke, happiness lives there. You must be vulnerable for you to be understood.
Happiness is connection. Not just with others, but with yourself too. When you stop fighting who you are and start accepting it, something magical happens inside.
3. Happiness Is Letting Go of the “Shoulds”
We grow up being told what happiness should look like: a certain salary, a certain house, a certain kind of relationship. But real happiness? It often shows up when we stop chasing someone else’s version of it. I will tell you from experience that this is absolutely true.
Letting go of the “shoulds” is scary—but freeing. It makes space for your true joy to take root. And that joy might look simple, quiet, or even unconventional—and that’s okay.
4. Happiness Is in the Little Things
It’s in the first bite of your favorite meal. It’s hearing a song from your childhood and remembering what you were doing when you heard it for the first time. It’s clean sheets. It’s a random compliment. It’s finding a parking spot when you’re late. I’m always early!
The big milestones are beautiful, but the little things? They’re where daily happiness lives.
5. Happiness Is Choosing Grace Over Perfection
You won’t be happy every day. Life is messy. You’ll have days that stretch you, hurt you, and confuse you. But happiness isn’t about being cheerful all the time—it’s about giving yourself grace in the in-between.
It’s knowing you don’t need to be perfect to be worthy of peace. It’s learning to hold both joy and struggle at once. That’s real, raw happiness—the kind that makes you stronger and softer at the same time.
So… What Does Happiness Mean to You?
Conclusion
Maybe it's laughter around the dinner table. Maybe it's a solo hike where no one expects anything from you. Maybe it's a late-night phone call with someone who just gets it.
There’s no one-size-fits-all answer. The beauty of happiness is that it’s yours to define. And once you stop trying to force it to look a certain way, you might find it’s been quietly waiting for you all along—in the space between effort and ease, in the pause between tasks, and in the gentle rhythm of your own heartbeat.
Whatever happiness means to you, I hope you find it today—even in the smallest, most ordinary moment.