How to Discover Happiness/ A Journey Back to Yourself (#309)

We all want to be happy. It’s the quiet wish behind almost every goal we set, every relationship we nurture, and every dream we chase. But in the noise of the world, happiness can feel like a moving target—something we’re always reaching for, but never quite catching. Stop all that nonsense. 

If you’ve ever asked yourself, “Why can’t I just be happy?”—you’re not alone.

The truth is, happiness isn’t always something you find. Often, it’s something you uncover or discover—by peeling away the layers of expectation, fear, and distraction that keep you from seeing what’s already within you. “Ogres are like onions!” Google it!

Here’s how to begin that journey—not toward some distant version of happiness, but toward the kind that feels real, steady, and deeply yours.

1. Slow Down Long Enough to Listen

Happiness isn’t always loud. It doesn’t shout over deadlines, to-do lists, or notifications. I’m sick of all the notifications! It speaks in quiet moments—the ones we often rush past.

To discover happiness, you have to slow down. Sit with yourself, without distraction. Go for a walk without music or any electronic devices that may distract you. Make a cup of hot water with lemon and just… be.

Ask yourself gently:

• What feels good to me right now?
• What do I miss doing?
• What brings me peace, even if only for a few minutes?

Sometimes, happiness is waiting in a memory you haven’t visited in years. Or in a part of yourself you forgot to nurture. Happiness to me is the ocean! Soooo relaxing. Can you hear the waves crashing?

2. Stop Chasing Someone Else’s Definition

We live in a world that loves to sell us its version of happiness—new cars, perfect bodies, exotic vacations, six-figure salaries. And while none of those things are wrong, they’re not requirements for a happy life. There is a balanced formula that each of us must figure out on our own.

Your happiness might look like a small home filled with art. Or a quiet routine. Or dancing barefoot in your kitchen. I still can’t dance.

One of the most freeing things you can do is say: “What makes other people happy isn’t what makes me happy—and that’s okay.”

You get to define success. You get to define joy, happiness, and contentment.

3. Let Go of the “When-Then” Trap

Many of us fall into the trap of “I’ll be happy when…”

• I lose the weight
• I get the job
• I find the relationship
• I make more money

But here’s the truth: there will always be a next thing.

If your happiness is always tied to something ahead of you, you’ll keep pushing it further out of reach.

Instead, ask yourself: “How can I create small moments of joy now, even as I work toward what I want?”

Happiness doesn’t have to wait for your life to be perfect. It grows in imperfect, beautiful now. We did this blog post of when-then.

4. Pay Attention to What Lights You Up

Sometimes we lose touch with happiness because we stop doing the things that used to bring us joy. If you say, “I remember when I did this or that” that’s a cue.

Remember when you used to paint, write, play music, garden, or explore nature—not for productivity, but just because it made your soul breathe?

Start paying attention to what gives you energy—not just what drains it. (watch out for those energy vampires). The things that make time disappear. The people who make you feel seen. The moments that make you forget to check your phone.

That’s where your happiness lives. Go there more often.

5. Practice Presence, Not Perfection

You don’t have to have it all figured out to feel joy. In fact, happiness often shows up in spite of the chaos—not in the absence of it.

It’s in the sunrise you didn’t expect to catch.
It’s in the laughter that surprises you in the middle of a difficult day.
It’s in the hug that lingers a little longer.
It’s in the feeling of this is enough, even if just for now.

You don’t need a perfect life to feel real happiness. You just need a present moment—and the willingness to be in it. Are you willing?

Conclusion: Finding What Was Never Lost

Uncovering happiness isn’t about adding more to your life. It’s often about removing what’s in the way—the comparisons, the pressure, the distractions.

It’s about returning to the parts of yourself that you may have buried under busyness or survival.

So pause today. Breathe. Let yourself remember.

Happiness might not be a grand revelation. It might just be waiting for you to notice it—in the ordinary, in the simple, in the moments that are quietly, beautifully yours.

And the best part?
You don’t have to chase it.
You just have to come home to it.